The Little Things

I discover most of my life lessons from within the lab. As I am becoming more aquianted with my space, I will integrate more of these stories. Some of these stories will be from undergrad, and some of them will be from graduate school.

Today it’s all about graduate school.

I have been a graduate student for exactly one month now, and I already feel very much at home at Notre Dame. Yes, I did spend a summer here already, but there is something different about being a graduate student and knowing that I will be here for the next five to seven years that changes my entire perspective of how acclimated I feel to this space.

It took a little bit of thought, but I believe I know why it was so easy for me to make this transition

This is the first installment of my “Lab Lessons.”

“We are constituted so that simple acts of kindness, such as giving to charity or expressing gratitude, have a positive effect on our long-term moods. 

The key to the happy life, it seems, is the good life: a life with sustained relationships, challenging work, and connections to community.” 

~Paul Bloom

Every person should be able to feel acclimated, important, and useful. 

Each transition in life requires a certain level of adjustment so that the person may find their value wherever they are. It may be a new job, new relationship, new dorm, or a new home, but the need to find purpose is shared throughout all types of transitions.

In order to find our purpose, we must be able to perform the tasks that God intended for us in that space. We need to be able to fulfill our vocation, even if it is only for a brief amount of time, such as a summer internship.

The key to growing in a new space is growing from the foundation laid out by the established community. Therefore, it is necessary for the community that we are part of finds a way to be able to include the newest member. If anything, we have to provide a sturdy place for them to take off and a soft place to land. 

We have to provide the little things that they need.

If we are the newest member, we must find a way to accept their gifts and grow with the community, not fight against it. It takes some learning, and it takes some patience, but it is indeed possible to find what we are searching for.

I know I did.

I am insanely extroverted. While I do talk quite a bit, I actually just need people to be around me in order to feel complete. At first I did not know anyone on campus, and I felt quite lonely. Sure, I had a few familiar faces, but I would not call anyone my friend.

One week, the other graduate student left on Paternity leave, and I was completely alone in “The Big Kid Room”.

It killed me, but I did not want to leave my desk.

I had no clue what I was doing.

Then my undergrads, or minions as my advisor calls them, started to walk out of “the kids’ room,” to talk to me. One by one, they started to bring their notebooks and computers out to the main room of the lab. We even got lunch a few times.

These kids (who aren’t even a year younger than me) chose to come and be my friend on their own. I was accepted in to the community, and I started to feel like a contributing member. It made a significant difference in my overall energy level and happiness. Going to the lab to read journals all day did not feel as meaningless, and I had stories to tell my roommate when I came home.

It was a small set of small acts, but these acts were a great contribution to my ability to grow within the community. By getting to know the undergrads, I was able to see the foundation that our lab was built upon.

I could take off 

However, I believe that there are other ways to give a person comfort and strength.

Most people think that in order to bring someone in that we have to be willing to go out and have a conversation with them. They think that it is an extrovert’s job to truly help someone acclimate. After all, the only methods shown on TV shows and movies are those of the stranger who comes up to talk to the lonely main character.

Small unspoken acts

Doing the little things that help someone move forward, in whatever way they need, is a huge step in their transition. If they have the tools to work with, then it is possible for them to make a contribution. By being able to give back, the newest member is able to find worth.

Give them a way to complete their task.

Find something that you can do to help them and do it without being asked.

“There is no limit to the amount of good you can do if you don’t care who gets the credit” Ronald Reagan

The other graduate student in my lab is the epitome of introverted service. He hates socializing, or at least that’s what he tells everyone else, and as such, he finds a way to contribute to the worth of everyone in the lab on his own time.

Buffers are remade, centrifuges are fixed, and cell lines are made on the side “just in case we mess up.” 

If someone needs to use his bench, he will let them. If someone has a question, he will answer it. If there is any confusion in the lab, he will at least try to help clear it up.

It is amazing how easy it is to get work done when there is someone around that is willing to do everything and anything to contribute to the common good. In this case, the older grad student recognizes the needs of everyone else, and he makes sure to help them. Thanks to his hard work, I was able to jump right back in to my experiments like I had been there for the past year.

Because God designed me to be a scientist, I found my value in my simple sub cloning experiments again.

Had the other grad student not been around, it may have been more difficult for me to find these ease so quickly again.

When a person who gives back in the little ways disappears, their absence is felt.

The lab struggled a little bit trying to find its way back in to the groove when the other grad student went on paternity leave.

However, because we recognized the need to do the little things, the lab team has started to take on these tasks without being asked. We check on CO2 tanks, make our own media, and we clean the benches from time to time.

When he comes in nowadays, there is a certain peace to the lab.

While we all are friendly and are great, there is something about the quiet contributors to society that we may never fully understand.

I will admit that it is in these introverted people, the people that know the needs of others without having to talk to them to find them, are some of the most important people in society. Their servant leadership is highly important to our society. 

Thanks to the efforts of both the extroverts and introverts in my lab, I have started to see more and more of God’s will for me in this space. 

I know that I am meant to be a mentor and rolemodel

I know that I am capable of performing experiments and troubleshooting when things go wrong.

I know that I belong in the space God gave me.

There are still many questions on my mind, and there are still many things that I have yet to learn, but I believe that by doing the little things, such as going out of my way to let someone in, or finding the needs of each person around me, that I may be able to do more of God’s will each and every day.