Monday, August 15, 2016

Sprinklers, Cars, and Love

This weekend I went on a roadtrip to surprise my parents. It may have appeared to be a spontaneous decision, but I actually had been planning this little trip ever since they left South Bend in the beginning of July. 

It’s amazing how much you can do when you prepare yourself.



Every afternoon leading up to the drive, I would plan out the drive. I figured out which of my friends lived in each major city along the road. I looked at the general traffic jams, the construction, and any noticable delays. I checked gas prices in each state. I did basically everything I could to feel more comfortable with the drive.

I even practiced being in the car for an extended period of time by driving up to Chicago and back.

While the drive was successful, there were many unexpected experiences I gained from the trip.



I had expected the drive to be absolutely miserable. The most obvious reason would be my ADHD. Sitting in the car staring out at similar terrain for nearly eight hours sounded like a death trap. How could I imagine focusing for such a long period of time? The second reason was my extroverted personality. I actually feel drained by being alone for more than four hours, so sitting alone in the car for twice that amount of time sounded like a psychological nightmare. Bascially the decision to drive from South Bend to Nashville was a decision to put myself in a somewhat miserable condition.

But it wasn’t.




In fact, I discovered many beautiful things about the world as I drove along US 31 and I-65.



You are never fully alone.

When you drive by your lonesome on the road, you can very easy put up your blinders and ignore the people in the other cars. The other cars can simply be that: other cars. We see the machine instead of the person controlling it.



Because my extroverted nature causes to seek out human contact, I was pretty quick to find a face to communicate with. Actually, it was a hand. Early on in my drive, there was a passenger in a semitruck that waved when they passed me. For about 100 miles, we would pass each other and wave each time. I never saw his face, but I know he saw me laughing because his waves became more and more emphatic with each pass.

It was sad when we took separate exits.



After that moment, I tried to make sure I looked past the glass to see the people in the cars surrounding me. I saw people driving alone, couples chatting, families singing…bascically every type of person was around me.

This sort of situation is something that we can apply to the outside world. How many times do we wait in line at the grocery store and count the number of items they have to scan instead of notice the person? How many times do we get annoyed with the person at the ATM solely because they are there depositing a check when we could have been there instead? I know that I have felt the same way about people using our cell culturing hood or microscope.

What if we took the time to recognize the soul standing in front of us or in our way instead of angrily trying to get rid of them?

What if we looked people in the eye when we passed them on the sidewalk? (use the look up link)



Another thing I noticed about the drive was that the pain of driving was alleviated by the mission at hand. I was not driving because it would make me happy. If I wanted to make myself happy, then I would have asked my parents to buy me a plane ticket and just fly out to Nashville. This trip was meant to be a surprise, something special for someone else. 

By choosing to sufffer a little bit, I had the opportunity to make my family’s weekend.



Every time my wrist ached, I remembered how excited my little brother sounded on the phone when I told him that I would be there in two weeks. He’s a pretty stoic guy since he’s an athlete, but the pure joy in his voice made the entire trip worth it. My family is a beautiful place filled with love, and since I knew how happy my brother was without the surprise, I knew that my family would be even more excited by my surprise arrival.

We will all have to go outside our comfort zone to make others smile.



I have written before about the little things that we can all do to make others feel loved. I have yet to talk about the big things.

Doing big things to show your love is not something to be done all the time, but it is neccessary that we go outside of ourselves to show our love and appreciation for others. Think of the times when someone did something unneccessary for you.



Just an example: when I was in college, my Residence Director was fired during RA Training. It was easily the hardest thing I had to deal with as an RA. Yes, he made a mistake, but he was still an amazing boss, and our entire staff was crushed, myself included. I spent all day trying to make them feel better, hiding my own pain…and by the end of the day I felt completely broken and upset.



I contacted my best friend at the time. We went for a walk, and unlike usual, he could not make me feel better after ten minutes. He knew that I felt better when I laughed, so he found a way to make me smile. It was late at night, so the sprinklers were going.

He jumped through every single sprinkler….even though it kind of hurt.

He doesn’t know it, but that was my favorite memory of him.




When we choose to do something for someone else, big or small, we show them our love. Love causes us to go outside of our own little world and become a part of someone else’s. It is what allows for joy to come to the world, what makes even the most terrible days bearable, what motivates life to continue forward. Romantic, familial, friendly…even love from a stranger is the most powerful force in the world.

The most perfect representation of this love was Christ’s Passion.




Jesus suffered the Cross so that we could be saved from our sin and join God in Heaven. I am not a biblical scholar, nor am I a theologian by any account, but I often wonder if it was neccessary for Christ to die for this to still happen. God has the power to do anything, so it would seem illogical for a supreme being to endure such suffering.


Christ enduring a cruel and public sacrifice was more for us than it was for him.



By seeing Christ's sacrifice, we may be more aware of God’s love for us. He endured it all for us. This is perfect love. Jesus gave His entire life not for His benefit, but rather He gave us a way to finally love Him back, to see that our salvation had come, to be able to choose Him.



The next time you have to be a little uncomfortable, do something new, change your lifestyle a little, or whatever it may be to make someone happy, take the time to do it. Take the time to love on them.

No matter what you may feel, you will be more motivated than ever anticipated.



It may not be easy, but it is worth it to go outside yourself. I cannot even begin to describe the overwhelming love I felt when I saw my mother’s face when I walked in the door. All I can say is that no matter how carsick and sore I felt, nothing could beat the joy caused by that long drive. 



So take the time to notice those around you

Don’t think of them as a machine or a nuisance

Notice what they need.

Notice how important each soul is.

And then go outside yourself to love them.



Because no matter how long the journey is, no matter what crosses you may have to carry for them, it is by far the most amazing thing you can do.


Choose love.



Oh, and if you are reading this and need a little love today...know that I love you Dear Reader simply for being you. Go forth and be awesome.

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