What It Means to Love

People suck.

Or so the internet says.

Our world of screens has taken us from connecting to people around us to merely connecting on a few shared memes and clever captions. This is partially because the internet allows us to stay inside and hide our vulnerabilities. I have spoken to this before, as have many other bloggers.

The aspect that we tend to forget about social media is not that we can hide our flaws or quirks, but rather it is that everyone else is editing their comments, their photos, and their friend list. We can hide people we do not like, and we can even exclude people from seeing our statuses. And as much as we don’t want to think about it, everyone lives in their own created social media with their own preferences. 

These preferences are autonomous. That means that no one can create this social world other than the one sitting behind the screen.

We cannot do this in real life.

In real life, we have to interact with people that bother us. In real life, information that we share in a public space is open for all to hear. In real life, we have to see a full person on that specific day. They can’t just “go offline” for a day or two when they are not in the mood to crack a joke or share our opinion. Real life requires true communication and real connection.

But we’ve lost that ability to our own created worlds.

Why try to make the world better when we have a completely comfortable one in our iPhone? More importantly, how could we ever make the real world as wonderful as our created world?

The answer is simple, but it takes effort to make possible: help others become the best-versions-of-themselves. Help people become the funny, happy, and opinionated face you see on the internet.

I am not saying that you just make people smile.

No… You have to help them become truly happy. We have to be willing to step outside of our little boxes and help people find what they truly love and accept that love. Everyone has something good in their heart. Everyone has something that they were made to do, to love, and to be. Deep in each heart is a longing that we can help them satisfy.

But we cannot do it on our own, no matter what social media may try to tell us.

We need people to help us find that happiness, no matter how scary it is.

To help someone realize their true selves is not an easy task. It is an incredible risk because you are not only going outside of yourself to aid someone, but you are also tapping in to the most vulnerable aspect of themselves. The potential to lose what we truly love is terrifying. So yes, it is a risk to go for what we want most, but there is no other way to achieve the joy we are longing for in the end.

Therefore, we must be willing to take the risk to love those around us.

We must be willing to empathize with those who are different from us and help them find where they need to go. No matter the cost.

Trust me. It is worth it.

Allow me to share an example. Last week my friends decided to go to the Grad School’s annual semi-formal. What with my cold, and me being a melodramatic sick person, I paid no attention to the plans. Even though I had been wanting to go to a dance again for several years, I did not have the confidence to buy the ticket and attend the event. Instead I made plans to section livers, have a mild allergic reaction, and perhaps get some extra sleep.

How depressing.

My friends were not having it. They constantly asked me about the dance. Not in a rude way or in an egging on sort of way, but more as a reminder. They reminded me that I loved to dance and that I should be able to share that with people other than the unfortunate soul who walks in to lab on a late Sunday evening.

Eventually I decided to go to the dance.

But it was sold out.

That did not stop my friends. In fact, they even asked the people at the front desk if I could just pay my way in. By the grace of God, my friends went above and beyond to help me attend an event that would make me smile.

It was one of the greatest nights of graduate school, just because I got to dance with my friends.

And I am still smiling.

Now all I want to do is give back to them. I want to find what makes them smile and help them become a part of that. I want to share experiences with the people God has given me to get through this life. Not because I have something to prove or need to repay my friends for their kind acts.

All I want is to love as I have been loved.

This experience is part of a much greater desire that rests in my heart. Ever since I was a young child, all I have wanted is to make others smile. I live to make people laugh. The small smile that slides up someone’s face after an hour of crying is arguably the most beautiful facial expression. It signifies a hope that would otherwise be lost. The joy we receive from hope in the darkness, that is the meaning of community and connection. To love is to bring hope and joy where it would otherwise be absent.

Love forces us in to the darkness with nothing more than a small candle.

The flame leaps off the candle and sets the world ablaze.

But only if we let it.

Where does this love come from though? After all, it is difficult to start a fire without the proper tools, and it is even more difficult to do so in the dark. It is even more difficult if you do not know how to start the fire.

The best part is that we do not set this fire on our own.

The love that lights the little flame in our hearts, the same flame that draws us to other people, even the people we hate, came from the One who made us. It came from Someone who would rather die than watch us suffer. It came from the One who loves us, even in the midst of our greatest darkness.

That love came from Christ.

“Our God is the God who comes.” ~Bishop Kevin C. Rhoades

That love came from the Man who came down from Heaven, in to the darkness, in to death, and in to our worst lives so that we could find our true selves. Jesus came to this earth, far from where He was expected, and He gave His life so that we could come Home to Him.

He came as a little baby, to a virgin mother, and was not anywhere near expected.

He felt pain and sorrow, but He took it up every day because He loves us.

You know the most amazing part of this? Jesus did not force us to love Him back. In fact, He got up on the Cross knowing that there would be people who rejected Him then and in our present day. Jesus loves us so much that He was willing to sacrifice Himself for those who ultimately reject Him.

That love is what is in our hearts, calling us out to those in darkness. It is that love that tells us to live our best lives for others. When we accept this love, we can set the world ablaze.

An understanding soul I met this semester shared this insight before Confirmation yesterday about what happens when we allow the love Christ to transform our hearts:

“You want to win the whole world to Jesus, and you want to serve Him however He calls you, no mater what it costs.”

This love is what draws me to new people, new places, and new experiences each day. However, because I am flawed like anyone else, I tend to forget that. I know that I am a joyful and open person, but sometimes I let my fear of the darkness hide that joy and hide my heart.

But the love that Christ put on my heart will never leave.

Because He will never leave.

He is whispering to your heart every day that He loves you and that He will never leave you. Whether you can hear Him or not, Jesus is there in your heart, loving you every moment of your life.

He is there, in the eyes of the beautiful souls He has given you.

I still pause when I see Him in the eyes of those around me. I forget every word, and I wish I could share just how much it means to me to hear Christ’s love in their eyes, but I cannot find the proper words. All I can do is smile and thank them by living the best life I can. Thank you to the souls who have taught me how to pause and let God love me through them.

I pray that I can do the same in return.

So Dear Reader, after you look up from this post, I would like you to look at the beautiful souls you have been entrusted with. Look at them with love. Take the time to notice what would make them truly happy. If that means you have to break their hearts, then tell them. If that means you have to encourage them to try something new, then offer to walk with them. If that means giving up your esteemed position in society, then humble yourself to raise someone up.

There are challenges and roadblocks to love. We may be rejected. However, whatever love we are willing to share will change the world.

Not only will your world be a little brighter, but it will no longer be just your own little world behind a screen.

It will be more like Heaven, the Home we will be together in on the last day.