What Am I Supposed to Do?

We have no clue what we are supposed to be doing.

Not just the 20 somethings who are trying to identify their career, but also every other person in the world. Even if we have all of the degrees we need, even if we have a good entry level position, even if we have a great leadership position, even if we have all of the tools we think we need to move forward with our lives, we still are worrying over what we are supposed to be doing.

There are many ways to approach this “what am I supposed to do?” question. However, we as a culture have only chosen one mindset.

Does this make me happy?

It is true; when we are doing the work that we were meant to do, we are happier than if we were working on something we did not understand nor care about. We all have passions, and these passions are what inspires others to improve their lives and give back in love. To follow your passions, to participate in your vocation, will in fact bring joy.

However, living under the impression that our calling will make us completely happy can only set us up for failure.

Life is not easy all the time. No purpose is entirely happy, no matter how wonderful the task. After all, how could we possibly know the highs if we never experience the lows?

So then, how are we supposed to know that we are doing what we were made to do?

Look around you.

Everything we do causes an effect on others. I have written many times about how the actions of others has changed my life, for better or for worse. We are a social species, and as such, we are made to associate with one another. We cannot avoid it, nor should we want to.

No one was brought to this Earth for evil. Therefore, if we are doing what we are supposed to be doing, then we will see joy in others.

We can love other people through our work.

Even if it is difficult, even if we are struggling to do what we wish to accomplish, there is always a way to love others through our own specific purpose.

One of the best examples I have for this scenario is my roommate. She is a Liturgical Scholar, meaning that she loves the Mass and all of the Sacraments. She has dedicated her life to studying the meaning of the core of Catholicism so that she can help coordinate Liturgies and help others learn how to worship more fully.

However, this is extremely difficult. She has to write extremely long papers with an arthritic wrist. She has to stay up way past any normal bedtime to read texts that are hundreds of years old. She has to deal with debates over theology that very few are aware of. It is exhausting, painful, and completely unknown to most of the world.

One might wonder why someone would put themselves through such a difficult task. How could there be any joy in it?

Some might go as far as to say “maybe this isn’t worth it.”

I would not say so.

This year my roommate and I were invited to help teach Sacramental Preparation. By the grace of God, I was put in her small group where I could watch her minister to the students. This past weekend we had a retreat about The Eucharist, which is my roommate’s focus.

She spoke with great ease to all of the students on the most difficult concept to grasp in Catholicism: that the bread and wine were truly the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ.

And everyone listened. Everyone learned. Everyone was impacted.

Now, one might say that this was because she was doing the “easy” part of her job. They might say that she was able to joyfully act because she was doing what she loved and that she was completely fine and happy. They would say that it was not difficult.

My roommate gave that talk last semester with a blinding migraine.

No one noticed. Everyone was impacted just the same.

Why?

My roommate was doing what she was supposed to be doing. Even though it was difficult, my roommate knew that she was made to help others understand our Faith. Even though it was not something she would particularly wanted to do in pain, my roommate got out of bed, dressed incredibly, and gave to others what no one else could that day. I don’t know if she had a migraine this weekend, but I will say that she continued to do the same great purpose.

I am incredibly blessed to have witnessed these moments.

Dear Readers, we need to look around us when we are discerning what we are supposed to be doing. We need to see how our work, done specifically by us, can help others grow in to who they are meant to be. If we cannot see anyone benefiting from how we are living our lives, then we need to be willing to make a change.

We might not have to drop a career, but maybe we will need to focus on a different aspect of that career.

We might not have to end a relationship entirely, but maybe we will need to evaluate the nature of that relationship.

Ultimately we need to evaluate how we can use our job to help bring joy to others around us. We should be trying to make life easier for others, not for ourselves. That may mean that we put in a little extra work.

However, the effort we put forth in response to the needs of those around us does not feel like effort. It does not feel natural at first, but once you’re the midst of the task, you will discover that you are doing exactly what you were made to do. You will find your purpose at that moment in time.

And that purpose can change.

I remember when this happened for me. It was around this time last year. There were twelve undergrads in the lab, all with great ideas and insanely busy schedules. I had class, TA responsibilities, grants to write, and my own research projects. Everything felt like chaos.

Instead of sticking to my own plans, I started to help the undergrads organize themselves.

Within an instant I gained 12 undergraduate mentees and 80 hour work weeks.

Now, anyone who knows me knows that I love my research. People can tell that I am excited to come in to work every day at any time. People also know that I love my undergraduates. Some put it together and realize that I love to research because I love to work alongside my students and I like to solve problems.

You see, I’ve always known that I lack some skills scientists need.

But I’ve always been a caregiver.

I evaluated my standings in academia, and I saw a place where I could easily fall in to place. My students just needed someone who could listen to them and be excited for them. ND kids are all phenomenal scientists; they just need a little direction sometimes. Even though I knew that it would take more effort and more time, I knew that I could help take care of my undergraduates.

They call me mom sometimes.

And I love it.

The hours are longer, and the nights are harder, but I am happier now than I was prior to gaining “The Twelve.” Not because I am a better scientist, not because we publish more papers, but because I get to watch my students’ faces when their work is acknowledged and moves forward. I get to be there in the happy times and in the sad times.

17 hour days are nothing when you are doing what you were made to do.

Do not be afraid to alter your career path towards something new. You already know what you have in your heart; you just need to take the time to figure out where your talents can be utilized. Everyone has a greater purpose that they can tap it in to every single day.

Life is hard, but it doesn’t have to drain you completely.

Work in love, and love will return to you as joy.