Monday, October 17, 2016

Order in the Disorder

I had quite the moment in Molecular Biology the other day. Our professor is always talking about how a process is beautiful, or how intimately connected two molecules are, or how amazing it is that something happens in the first place.

I’ll admit, I didn’t really have the time through my furious note-taking to appreciate the details that Dr. Huber brought up week after week.

But I am writing a blog post, so obviously that changed.



One morning we were learning about the many levels of transcription regulation. Down at the very bottom of the list were the modifications of these proteins referred to collectively as "coregulators." Each coregulator has multiple forms, and they have multiple ways to be modified, and they have many different transcription factors to interact with.

Add up all of these conditions on top of all the other levels of transcription regulation, and you get 1013 different combinations.


But it doesn't end there


Dr. Huber went on to describe how different tissues in the body have different concentrations of these coregulators. The difference is miniscule, and yet the difference is enough to differentiate between tumor friendly and anti-tumor conditions.



I have written before on how all things, while appearing completely random, all go towards an ultimate end. So I will not harp on that. That wasn’t what made such an impression on me that morning. It was the fact that each coregulator had subtle shifts that caused subtle shifts in the proteins they associated with that caused a somewhat major change in the end.

Every little difference makes a huge change in the overall system.



Whether we know it or not, we experience something very similar with our own relationships. Think about how many people we associate with throughout our lifetime. Think of how you met those people, what sorts of memories you shared with them, what allowed for those relationships to even exist. It becomes apparent fairly quickly that every little thing shapes the community we become a part of.


"I don't really know how I got here 
But I'm sure glad that I did 
And it's crazy to think that one little thing 
Could've changed all of it" ~Darius Rucker, This



One little thing, one decision could change the way your life worked out entirely.



My favorite example is my twinsie, Micaela. We met because there was a Christian Facebook group for our freshman class at Belmont, and they had attempted to arrange a meet up for Battle of Bands on our first friday on campus. I showed up late because I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to go.

Turns out no one else showed up.



But at the time that I sat in front of the Beaman, a girl with curly hair passed by. For some reason, I hopped off my spot and asked her, “Are you a freshman?”

Four years later, and Micaela is still one of the best friends I have ever had. Imagine if I had showed up at the earlier time and noticed no one was there and left. Imagine if I had not taken the chance to just say hi to a complete stranger. Imagine if I hadn’t been on the Christian Facebook page. Such little, seemingly random occurrences brought me to an amazing friendship.




If you stop for a moment and think about all the little things that happened in order for you to meet your best friends, your career path, or even exist, you may come to the same conclusion that we did in our Mol Bio class.

Every change, regardless of how random it is or how odd it is, matters.

Nothing is insignificant


In a world full of hurt and suffering, it seems as if our lives are just blips, unimportant to the greater scheme of things. Even if our lives are good, the world is becoming more and more aware of the suffering of those abroad, the minimalization of those unlike us, and the general apathy that society has to this suffering.

We try to combat this apathy sometimes. The money you put in the basket at church, the volunteer work you do with your organization, whatever it is you may do, seem to have an impact in the moment, but then you go home to see something tragic on the news.

It seems like all of our good efforts are futile in the end.



Can we really change anything?


The answer to this question is simple: Yes you can.


Our lives, while seemingly insignificant in the grand scheme of things, are actually critical to the overall order. Much like the coregulators with their many different combinations and interactions, we too have the potential to make a huge shift with our small life.



There are many stories out there of wildly successful people that would not be here had not one person smiled at them on their darkest day.

And for each of those stories, there are dozens more of every day people who can attribute their livelihood to the life of one other person. Think of the person that you buy coffee from every morning, your favorite uber driver, or the man at the front of the cafeteria. These jobs seem so small, and yet they make such an impact on the people they encounter every day.


I still smile at the memory of the caf workers dancing to Gospel music on a rough Monday morning.

I am who I am now because of the many amazing people I have encountered. 


Some of these relationships are permanent, such as those I share with my family, and others are transient, much like the woman I buy coffee from. Still, I know that I am better because of these interactions. Through each relationship, I have grown to be the woman who can sit in a lab and do science, while at the same time forming friendships with anyone who breaks in our door.

A few months after, I found out how important it was for me to be this person, to be the one smiling in the lab, to be the one to listen and troubleshoot, to be the one who puts a positive spin on things a little too often.

At a lab dinner one night, an undergrad mentioned that I filled a hole that they did not know they were missing.



The world is filled with holes with people that are meant to fill them. There are many wrongs to be righted, but until the right person comes along, guided by the many others they interacted with, we may never know how to fix the problems we face.

All we can know is that God is here, softly whispering in our hearts, letting us know our role in His perfect plan.


The Holy Spirit guided me to Belmont where I learned to be the southern belle I am today. The Holy Spirit introduced my parents, gave me my family, and inspired me to live the life they raised me to have. In all of the seemingly random moments of my life, the Holy Spirit was gently speaking in to my heart so that I could be where I was supposed to be, making the impacts that I may never know about.




It seems random. It seems unimportant. It seems like there is little logic to it.

And yet

All things come to a clear end.



Only God knows what is to come of the struggles and the triumphs. He knows who we need to get where we are going, to improve the lives of those around us, to become important in the life of someone else. We just can’t see the end result until we get there. 



We may never know our impact.

But we will know how much we love.



So when you feel like you don’t matter, like you can’t change the world, remember that every little interaction you have, no matter how random or intense or amazing or stupid or sad, makes a difference in the heart you share it with. You matter to that person. That person matters to everyone they interact with.



We all are connected in a messy yet perfect order.


And that’s beautiful.

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