Sonnets of 2017

I usually mention as my fun fact that I write sonnets, but I have not had the chance to share any of them with you Dear Readers. Therefore, I will share the two sonnets that I wrote this year. They were written in the beginning and the end of this year and created a nice story.

To make it a little more interesting, I included many other stories from this past year inspired by selections from my Spotify Top Songs of 2017 playlist.

Enjoy!

“One look, dark room, meant just for you, time moved too fast, you played it back…” 

~You Are In Love, Travis Atreo

Nine, Forty-Seven, and Forty-two

We’re up and we’re down. Front back front back front.

I held your weight as we went all night long

just barely squeaking as you planned your stunt

and you thought that I would be strong…

You jumped, and all of your weight lifted off

I flew back, flailing all about and with

no safe way to catch myself. You just scoff

as if this was not your first stunt, your fifth,

your whatever it was. Hurt and frayed, I’m not

safe to ride, so you just pack up and leave.

I waited in the cold in our old spot.

But it’s not our’s, not since you chose to cleave

my rope, my hope, my scope in to your heart.

Back front down up lub dub and then we part.

“I focus on what I can make and not what just got ruined” 

~Cardboard Castles, Watsky

“It’s going to be a difficult semester,” the professor said to the young graduate student and her mentee. The graduate student was dumbfounded in the professor’s lack of faith and generalization.

The professor would be proven right, but the young instructors who stood before her did not fear the worst. This team of misfits were just what the lab needed, whether they knew it or not. They had spunk, and they all had a reason to fight for this labratory.

It was time to prove the world wrong about the down-trodden, the misfits, and the developmentally unique souls that entered the field of Cell Biology.

“Everything is such you wanted. You try your best to calm the longing, but there are certain things you can't deny” 

~ Little Dancer, Leroy Sanchez

It was a lonely February evening. The stars were sparkling in the sky, and the graduate student walked out in to the cold air. The starlight hit the little rosary in her right hand, and the light reflecting in tiny sparkles about her hand. A small spark of hope lit in her heart, but it was small. She wanted to believe that God would finally answer her prayers, but the silence had torn her heart apart.

She needed a miracle.

“You said you'd never smile again, but oh no, here it comes. Would you look at that? I finally found somethin' I'm good at” 

~Somethin’ I’m Good At, Brett Eldridge

Tears fell from the face of a young scientist as her mentor rested her hand on their shoulder. Never before had the student been believed in. Never before had the student been accepted for who they were and told to fight for something greater. Never before had the student admitted their failing.

The next day, the student came to the lab, a small but beautiful smile on their face and a notebook in hand. It was as if an entirely different student came to work that day, and for a brief moment, all was right in the labratory.

“You take my eyes off of the future. 

You lead my heart out of the past

You are the promise here in the moment, where I find my rest

You are as good as it gets”

~As Good as It Gets, Matt Maher

On the vigil of Palm Sunday, the little dancer came to The Grotto. The sun shone on her shoulders, burning them slightly. From her right hand dangled the rosary, just as it did for the past 54 days. Light from above made the beads shine brighter than before, and for a moment, the girl believed her longing would end.

But as she looked up at the candles and finished her final prayer, she felt the light leave her.

Why did God say “wait” again?

The girl wept.

“Nobody likes you when you’re 23” ~ What’s My Age Again? Blink-182

“Before we get started, we have heard that it is someone’s birthday today,” the presenter smiled and flipped the slide to a Happy Birthday for the young graduate student. Cupcakes floated through the auditorium.

The graduate student beamed up at the presenter. She always said she didn’t like cancer, but in that moment, she could not be more grateful for the cancer biologists who took her in and loved her.

“When did we learn to perform, to need the encore, to know who we are?” ~Lean, Nichole Nordeman

“Can we not talk about science?” the graduate student looked down at her salad. Tears were burning in the corners of her eyes. Everyone else had practiced with their advisors. Their labs knew their hypotheses. However, the graduate student practiced alone, her advisor did not even look up from his laptop as she spoke, and her entire project was unknown to the world.

She was alone.

Or so she thought.

“Wherever you go, whatever you see,

you’re not alone, you never will be

Oh baby just know, wherever you go, that’s where I'll be”

~Wherever You Go, A Rocket to the Moon

11pm rolls around after a long day in the lab. After running around all day without a single soul to speak to, the graduate student wants nothing more than to clutch to her bear, Teddy, tight and attempt to sleep. With a small whisper for God’s help, she rested her tear-stained face on Teddy and waited for sleep.

A bright light broke through the darkness.

Ten text messages from home and three snaps in the group snap chat. For over an hour, the graduate student giggled and played with her family on the phone. In that moment, the graduate student is at home, a child without the responsibilities she picked up in her lab. She was the Kid Captain of her family.

Thanking God, she smiled and fell asleep, never to feel alone again.

“Wouldn’t let a bad run-in ruin my fun 

when I wanna wake up to the sun again” 

~ Say Hey, Capital Lights

Three weeks. After failing to produce the results her advisor wanted, the graduate student was prepared to get the mouse project completed. With only her former undergraduate to communicate with, she descends in to the basement with nine mouse brains. She did not speak to another soul for three weeks other than her student and her favorite mouse, Ann Arbor.

Her advisor would return to see the results he had been waiting to see ever since the mouse project began.

And for a moment, the graduate student felt on top of the world.

“Coming out of my cage and I’m doing just fine” 

~ Mr. Brightside, The Killers

The chemist and the biologist who volunteered to join the band had no clue what was to come. A familiar guitar rift comes in, and the basement erupts with joy. Feeding off the energy, the biologist dances with the chemist and the singer, singing a song she knew all too well from her undergraduates. Another joins the stage, and the group sings together.

After being too afraid of the haters, the graduate student is no longer afraid. She has a mission, and she believes that great things are to come.

“Waiting ’til the smoke clear, can you see me through the fog?”

 ~ Money and the Power, Kid Ink

Her advisor had told her that he forgot everything she ever did, and her world exploded. However, the graduate student did not give up on her model, nor did she give up on the research she had dedicated herself to completing. She fought each day, bringing forth new data, new literature, and a renewed confidence.

Prominent cytoskeleton researchers gasp as the graduate student flips the Powerpoint to the next slide. Lysosome tubules dance across the screen, and the graduate student’s heart skips a beat.

People can see her now.

“Pray that I may have the grace to let you be my servant too.” 

~Servant Song, David Haas

The graduate student sits before the Blessed Sacrament. It is 3pm on Thursday afternoon, and her heart is troubled. She was entrusted with the most beautiful souls, and she does not know if she can really be worthy of the love that she can give, let alone what they could receive. Yet in that moment, she was given rest.

She returned that week, unafraid of her inexperience. Smiles flew through the room, and she rejoiced in the graces bestowed upon her by Our Lord.

With confidence, she asked God to let her continue to serve souls. This lead to a month of oddly specific prayers for an unknown soul before the Blessed Sacrament. When she discovered the soul’s name, she was troubled again.

Never before had she been entrusted with a soul that could guide her heart in return.

“I can’t explain how it feels like we have it all 

when everything is about to change.”

~One Day at a Time, Quin XCII

“I can’t do this anymore,” the gradaute student rose abruptly from the couch in the Upper Room. Angry tears burned in her eyes as she fled from the emptiness. Not a single incorrect statement was made, but something was missing.

The fullness of Truth was missing, and for what purpose? To not disturb the hearts of those around her?

The graduate student’s heart woke that day. She no longer wanted to be comfortable. Now she wanted to speak Truth everywhere, even if that meant being alienated from the rest of the world.

After all, she did not belong here.

“Guilty I stood, guilty I was. I couldn’t hide my shame. Just as I am, just as I am. Jesus you welcomed me. You took me in. I’ll never be the same again. My life, held in your hands.”

~ Just as I am, Matt Maher

Tears fell from the graduate student’s face. She was afraid that in her pride, in her fear, in her envy, in her doubt, that she lost the ability to love as she had been praying to love for so many years. Could that be why the Lord had not delivered her answer as He promised.

“He has been teaching you how to love all along,” the priest said with a soft smile on his face.

And so it was.

“You can feel it in the silence.” 

~You Are In Love, Taylor Swift

Two, Four, and Forty-two

It’s forty two degrees. My hands are blue

blue from holding on to something cold

a hope, or rather, a phase I went through.

Now I know better. Now I am old.

It’s ten o’clock. My legs are sore as they

leave that place. “Carry me home!” my feet cry

“Sore, cold and lost,” that’s what my heart will say

about that night when no one wanted to try.

It’s forty two degrees. My hands are red.

red, but not for long. Your love takes the pain.

Now I am warm. My legs- they’re dead.

Dead from the long walk from the inhumane.

It’s ten o’clock. I smile remembering when-

Back, front, down, up. My heart can try again.