Interruptions

1: Knock knock

2: Who’s there?

1: Interrupting cow

1: Interrupting co-

2: MOO!!!

This was a joke my parents used to tell us all the time as kids. It’s surprisingly difficult to pull off the joke. Ironically, the joke is a lot funnier for the person telling the joke and the folks around them. It’s not very funny for the person being interrupted- at least not the first time.

We don’t like being interrupted.

Not just in conversations, but in any aspect of our lives.

We do not like when another life comes in and interrupts our conversations, our schedules, our plans, our budgets, etc. Very rarely does someone interrupt our lives for the sake of upsetting us, but there is something in our hearts that says their actions were wrong. Who cares what they were thinking? Who cares how they were feeling? 

Did they not notice how much of an inconvenience they are becoming to us?

“Don’t say, ‘That person gets on my nerves.’ 

‘Say ‘That person sanctifies me.’” 

~Saint Josemaria Escriva

Today is the Feast Day of Saint Therese of Lisieux. She and I became friends recently, mostly because she interrupted my normal way of life. Reading Therese’s story is a great comfort for many, but especially for souls that do not like being interrupted, who do not like having their plans interrupted.

She tells a few stories about her frustrations with those interrupting her normal schedule and way of life. Most of these instances were work-related, such as another sister splashing water on her while they were doing the laundry.

Instead of being angry with these women, Therese would praise God for the opportunity to love them, for the opportunity to be mortified, for the opportunity to be humbled.

I think we all need to remember Therese’s little way of love when it comes to those who interrupt our lives.

The senior graduate student in my lab started showing up to work at 8:30am instead of 11:30am-1pm. At first I thought it was a temporary arrangement that would end once he completed his project. A week and a half later, realized that he was going to be in lab during my “alone time” for the remainder of his PhD work.

He kept getting in my personal space and interrupting my time points.

He kept talking to me while I was trying to study for my Writtens and read up on techniques to improve my experiments.

I tried to avoid the other student, but it didn’t make any sense to do so. My work was still getting done. I was still reading well. I was doing just fine. The only thing that really changed was my individual flow, my own routine, my loneliness. By refusing to allow my fellow grad student time in fellowship, I not only hurt my routine, but I hurt his as well.

After all, he was just trying to get in to a better habit. He was trying to live a better life.

Our lives shouldn’t be negatively impacted because someone is living a better life. If they are, then we need to take some time to evaluate how good of a life we were living before.

I was missing companionship in the early mornings. I was missing collaboration. By the grace of God, I now have someone in the lab to share these frustrating yet beautiful experiments with. Sure, it is a little bit of an inconvenience to change up my time points, but now I do not have to spend four hours alone anymore. I am growing to be a better scientist alongside another child of God.

When we allow souls in, even the souls we would rather not have around, we are given the opportunity to love and be loved in a new way.

Sometimes that means giving up our time, our resources, our energy.

But it’s never a loss to love a little one.

There is another type of interruption, one that is far more difficult for us to accept.

We really don’t like when our life plans are interrupted.

These situations are rarely ones we can control. Sure, we can control what we do in the moment. Sure, we can prepare for the life we want to live. Sure, we can have backup plans in place. The uncomfortable truth is that we cannot actually prepare for everything.

More often than not, in order to live the life you were called to live you need to be willing to have your life flipped up, turned up, twisted upside down by God Himself.

And as mad as you can get with God the Father…you cannot change where you end up.

Because even crosses are a great gift. They are the greatest gift.

I’m in an unusual position for a 24 year old graduate student: I am in a great position for furthering my career and my community in a clear and direct way. I know where I am going and what I have to do in order to attain the little vocations of my life. I know how to achieve my little dreams.

And as wonderful as these gifts are…they are not going to get me to Heaven.

A Nobel Prize, when used properly, can give glory to God, but it does not help me grow in love. A tenure track position, when used properly, can give space to those who desire to know Christ in academia, but it does not change my Sainthood. I do not have to give up any of my own desires, any of my own goals, any of my own plans and routine in order to arrive at these places.

In my heart, I knew that I could do everything I dreamed of scientifically, but I could not grow in the love my heart desired without my Jesus.

I needed to let Jesus interrupt my life, to interrupt my heart’s constant chatter, so that I could love as He called me to love…

A year ago on this day, Jesus shouted through my heart’s chatter. He told me that I would some day fight in a great battle. (I did not know of Therese’s army of roses at the time). My heart burned, but I also felt great fear. I did not know how to give up anything of my own. I did not know how I would be able to change my current way of life, my silent work in the background, my silent hopes and dreams….how could I let the world know them like He did?

Spurned on by the Spirit, I took ownership of my time in Sacramental Prep. I spent hours praying for the souls I was blessed to know there. I gave up so much of my time and energy, but that’s the funny thing…

I became happier than ever before.

All because I let Jesus interrupt my heavily scientific schedule for the sake of serving His Church with my whole heart.

When we give up our ideas, our schedules, our pride for the sake of loving others, for the sake of allowing Jesus to take a hold on our lives, those things don’t matter anymore. Jesus does not interrupt our lives to cause us to lose everything we want; He helps us find what we already had in our hearts.

I speak often about accepting the unexpected moments God gives us.

Sometimes those gifts are not unexpected though. Sometimes these gifts are already there, patiently waiting for us to accept them. No one would expect us to say “yes” to new challenges, new ideas, new relationships, new hopes, new dreams…but sometimes it is our unexpected “yes” that allows Jesus to lead us to the best life.

There are desires on my heart that do not involve a lab.

But I live as though my future, my pathway to Heaven, is dependent on my science, on my late night sectioning and early morning cell work.

"Then I build my life around someone who I thought that I was

But it turns out

All the things I do to feel young, they only make me old"

~Death in Reverse, John Mark McMillan

Yes, we should all have goals and dreams and ambitions, but they should not take away from all of the graces God wants for us.

Sometimes we know about interruptions that God placed before us, but we put them on hold for the sake of our current state in life. I know that I have chosen not to do many things because I thought they would negatively impact my science, Sacramental Prep in particular. God wants us to be happy, so He keeps these gifts wrapped up for us as long as we remain open to them. He does not steal our gifts, but rather He re-wraps them until we are willing to accept them.

However, should we choose to accept these interruptions, to let go of the lives we have been living, then maybe we can find the rest we’ve been searching for.

“My Jesus,

You have given me a great gift, a gift I did not deserve, yet You freely gave it to me out of love. You gave me this life, but I am afraid to lose it. I see these opportunities You have given me, but I am afraid to take them. I do not want to lose the life I have in this moment. However, I do not want to lose Heaven, nor do I want to live one more moment without accepting Your love more and more each day. Make me brave, my Jesus. Make me strong, my Jesus. Make me like You, my Jesus.

Amen”