Barney: A Felicity Moment

I don’t really do change.

Regardless of the change, I tend to lament the change more than anything. It could be something as good as being done with the figure that took me two years, or it can be as sad as a break up, and I’ll still struggle with the change.

To deal, I have a few steps to move on.

The one that is the most “Felicity” is that I have to re-watch How I Met Your Mother all the way through.

Now I have already posted about my love for HIMYM. It’s true; I am totally Ted Mosby. As a hopeful romantic, my heart goes out to Ted. Where most people get confused or annoyed by his actions, I am step for step with him (minus the excess booze and sex). I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I believe in love beyond the point of reason.

This season, however, I noticed myself gravitating towards Barney, the exact opposite of Ted.

Unlike Ted, who believes that every connection could mean something more, Barney does not expect anything to come from the heart. He’s a player, and a fairly decent one at that.

I have a heart like Ted, but a mind like Barney.

Barney plans out every encounter. No matter who the girl is or what the situation is, Barney has a plan. He has a playbook for crying out loud! Even if there are some variations in the middle, Barney always knows how to maneuver around the situation in order to get the girl. Unfortunately, because Barney spends so much time thinking through how he’s going to sleep with women, he rarely considers the possibility of connecting with anyone.

I think we are all a little like Barney.

It doesn't have to be about romantic encounters. Regardless of the situation we find ourselves in, we all have a plan or two. For our careers, for our homes, for our relationships...the list could go on and on. We want everything to be perfect, to play out exactly how we want it to go, and we stick to that plan.

And like Barney, we tend to gravitate towards what seems easy.

This is not a bad thing. After all, Ted’s reckless love leads to a lot of pain. We should all know what we want in life. However, if we spend all of our time looking for what checks a box, what is easy to attain, and what makes logical sense, then we miss out on the connections, on the passion, and on the joy of what life brings.

We have to be willing to let the thing we least expect happen.

Barney? He fell in love.

However, because Barney is Barney, he still managed to plan out his entire love story with Robin. Unable to handle the challenges of their relationship, Barney and Robin get a divorce. It’s a tragedy, one that many viewers dislike, but it makes sense when you consider who Barney is. He’s a planner, unable to adapt to new end goals, unable to maintain the future.

Falling in love with Robin was a surprise, but he calculated how to handle the pleasant surprise.

But God doesn’t let our lives end without a chance at true love.

Barney received another surprise. He met another girl, and he loved her from the moment he met her. It was unplanned, uncalculated, and unconditional. All he could do was love her with all his heart.

There was no plan. Just. Love.

This principle does not just have to apply to romantic relationships. We all plan out our lives, and we all are a little taken aback by surprises. We do not want to change, and we do not want to take a risk on something difficult. Even with a heart like Ted, a heart filled with faith and hope and love, I still calculate too much. I mean…I have a game plan for every single life transition.

Maybe it is not about expecting the unexpected. Maybe it is not about planning. 

Maybe it is about seeing the challenge before us and recognizing that we can beat it.

The challenge is simple: love.

Yes, there are a lot of pieces to the puzzle. If Ted’s story, a nine-season story, is indicative of anything, it is that life is complicated. However, the story ends well if we are willing to accept the challenges before us in love. It took two major surprises for Barney to learn to accept a challenge out of love instead of lust. It took a lifetime for Ted to learn how to accept that love can be as simple as stealing a blue french horn.

It’s our decision to make the plans, to weigh the costs, to fear the ending…

But it’s also our decision to love whatever comes our way.

With this transition in to Third Year, my first year without classes, my first year as simply a researcher, my first year without any of the undergraduates I started graduate school with, my first year without a clear leadership role or position of purpose, I am taking on the challenge.

I am going to be Ted again.

I don’t just mean in romance. I’m completely comfortable being in a committed relationship with my research and serving as a spiritual mother to anyone in need. To be honest, a guy would have to probably hit me over the head with a brick to remind me that there is a life outside of the Liturgy and the Lab.

What I mean is that I am going to go back to how I once was: hopeful beyond reason, foolishly in love with The Lord, and happy to share my story with anyone who is willing to listen.

We’re not all called to be Ted’s. We’re not all called to be Barney’s.

We’re called to love. Simple as that.

With the heart of Ted Mosby, I am going to love with all of my heart again. I am going to try to make it rain, going to jump in to life without fear, going to be willing to change my plans if they are just not going to work, going to believe in the foolish heart God blessed me with.

Challenge….Accepted.